How can you help your child

There are multiple reasons why your child might tell you about the debt- fear of their exploiters and the harm they have threatened which can extend to their families; a sense of loyalty to those exploiting them; mistrust of those in authority; fear of being arrested and not being believed, and feelings of shame, guilt and embarrassment.

This can be really difficult for parents, often leading to powerful emotions. You may experience feelings of fear, shame, guilt and powerlessness. These feelings can often impact your physical wellbeing such as sleeplessness, low energy and anxiety. Whilst these are commonly shared experiences parents report to Ivison Trust, you don’t need to feel shame, guilt or blame, this is not yours or your child’s fault.

There are so many misconceptions about the abuse of children through involving and forcing them into criminality – that it happens because of the family, or is the fault of the child, or it only happens in cities or London. There is such a need for those involved to really understand the issues and the impact on families. Affected Parent

Tips from affected parents

Below are considerations from parents who have experience with child exploitation and debt bondage:

Try and keep communication open and non-judgmental with your child.
Acknowledge that some of your ‘normal’ parenting tools may not be successful
There are some situations in which your child may be more likely to share with you what’s happening including, when they or their friend have been arrested, or injured or if distance has been created between them and the exploiters. Be ready, have a plan on who will support and guide you and know what your next steps could be if your child does share with you.
Remember the behaviours you are seeing are due to the harm they are experiencing outside the home, they are traumatised, confused and frightened. Your child really needs a safe person (you) in this situation.
Keep records of everything; names, locations, details of missing incidents, receipts you find, calls etc. Due to the stress of the situation you may forget details.
Make a record of all the conversations you have with professionals about your child, including names and dates.
Don’t give up and if you feel unhappy or concerned by responses from services or have concerns about speaking to them you can seek independent advice from other sources such as charities like Pace. You don’t have to manage this on your own.

My son was terrified about speaking about what was happening because of the levels of violence he had witnessed, been threatened with and experienced. Affected parent

Supporting the disruption of exploitation and debt bondage

Parents are in a unique position to access information, passing this on can be key in helping your child or others. As parents here are some of the things you can do to support the disruption of exploitation and debt bondage:

Keep a record of any incidents involving your child and keep notes in a safe space.
Look for life litter such as train tickets, bus tickets, and receipts. This will give you an idea about the whereabouts of the child whilst they are out of the family home.
Look in and around your home for any drugs, money, cash cards in others’ names, weapons or keys to properties that your child may be ‘holding’ on behalf of the offenders, phones or sims you haven’t provided.
Listen for key pieces of information whilst your child is on the phone such as names and locations.
Include in your records a log of when your child is leaving and returning home.
Look out for any regular patterns of behaviours.
If your child has a contract phone that you pay for, look at itemised billing for numbers.
Install alarms on doors that notify you when someone is leaving and entering the property.
Look at notifications on the child’s phone to identify contacts, calls and texts.

I was living with absolute chaos so having a record of facts can really support you and the professionals to make sense of what is going on for your child. My child, like the majority of affected children, was viewed as a criminal and you need all the information you can to prove that they are a victim of crime. Affected parent